Thursday, July 20, 2017

Darkness has settled - once again


Darkness has settled - once again

I'm struggling friends. I don't know why it happens but it has once again come. The darkness. Perhaps it is part of my INFP personality, I don't know. All I know is that it hurts. I'm struggling to write. I'm struggling to smile. I'm struggling. 

I sit in the sunshine watching the robins fly from the tree to the fence. The bees fly from flower to flower. They have a purpose.  They have a reason. 

But what's my reason? What is the point of me? Why must I be the way I am. 

In my experience being me, I know there is nothing I can do to make this darkness lift. I don't even know why I feel this way. Does anyone else have such a hard time being themselves? 

I'm so lonely. Yet, I feel uncomfortable with others. I crave the attention of a friend, but I'm too afraid to let anyone new in. 

 Oh, what I wouldn't give to be someone else for a day. 

The warmth from the summer sun settles on my skin, I hope it soaks through and dilutes the darkness that resides in my soul. 

Perhaps a favorite song can shake me and rattle it free. Pick the wrong one and I risk sinking deeper.

Does anyone else feel this way? They all look so carefree to me.

Pain is my constant company.



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